Prior to my tenure at Burson-Marsetller, where as a senior VP/senior counselor, I worked at a political PR firm and was also as a reporter and editor at New York dailies.
It’s been a while since my days as a journalist and since I worked on political campaigns, but obviously some of my former colleagues haven’t updated their contact list for years. As a result, I’m still receiving “don’t tell anyone who sent you this” leaks.
Here are some of my favorite leaks from former Democratic and Republican colleagues of mine:
From a Democratic Congressman to Rep. Nancy Pelosi: “We haven’t had a win for sometime. Why don’t you give someone younger a chance to lead the party?”
Pelosi’s reply: “You can lose with me or without me, so I’m not going to give in to a young 51-year-old wipper-snapper. Also, I’m old enough to be your mother. Have some respect.”
From a number of Republican Congressmen and Congresswomen to Paul Ryan: “But if we eliminate government funding of abortions we’ll have to pay for them ourselves.”
From Kellyanne Conway to a (name redacted) reporter: “Stop using alternative facts in your reporting. That’s my shtick.”
From Wolf Blitzer to a Senator: “I know you don’t have anything new or important to say, but we have to fill a 24/7 schedule.”
From Charles Schumer to the Democratic Senatorial caucus: “The key to victory is what I’ve been doing all throughout my career: Hold a news conference every Sunday, even if the news is insignificant. You can always count on the cable networks to make it sound important?”
From Mitch McConnell to the Republican Senatorial caucus: “Never smile and always look somber when talking to the media. Always pretend that the earth is coming to an end if legislation you back isn’t enacted.”
From Sean Spicer to a reporter: “How dare you say I’m lying. I’m just following Winston Churchill’s philosophy that history is written by the victors.”
From President Trump to his staff: “Well, it’s all over. Orange juice for everyone. Fox News just reported that there definitely isn’t any collusion between my campaign and the Russians and also that the obstruction of justice allegations are disinformation from the Democratic Party obstructionists, liars and sore losers.”
Staffer to Trump: “But President Trump, CNN and MSNBC report the investigation is on-going.”
President to staffer: “What’s CNN and MSNBC?”
Staffer to President: “They’re cable news stations.”
Trump to staffer: “You mean there are cable networks other than Fox & Friends?”
Arthur Solomon was a senior VP at Burson-Marsteller. He now is a contributor to public relations and sports business publications, consults on PR projects and was on the Seoul Peace Prize nominating committee. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.